Dog People And You Thought High School Was Bad

Hey, everyone!


For those of you that are heavily involved in the dog world (and since youre either blogging  and/or reading a dog blog, I assume thats all of you), have you ever noticed the parallel between dog people and your stereotypical high school cliques?

No? Well, darlings, let me enlighten you. Below you will find a convenient guide to identifying these people, including what activities they tend to participate in, and the breeds they usually own. This is by no means a full list, but it does hit on all the major points.

(Note: this is, for the most part, entirely tongue-in-cheek. If marginally snarky humor and honest truths offend you, I suggest skipping this post, or at least not bombarding me with comments lamenting how not everyone fits a stereotype.)

High School and The Dog Enthusiast: A Guide

The Jocks -

Summary: These are the people that live and breathe "hard core" dog sports, the ones that go broke and rearrange their lives around trials that are hours away from them. Sport dogs are to The Jocks as big trucks are to... ehm, small men. 

Often socially inept in real life, they thrive online, tutting behind their screens about those owners who have mere pet dogs. Dont even get them started on those pitiful people that dare to trial with an "off breed". The horror, truly. 

Sports or Activities: Agility, DiscDog, Flyball, occasionally protection sports such as IPO and French Ring.

Breeds Owned: Sport bred Border Collies dominate here, sometimes with a Sheltie or Jack Russell thrown in for good measure. Aussies, Malinois, and the occasional field bred Golden Retriever or Standard Poodle may make an appearance.

Telltale Signs Youve Found A Jock: Abbreviated speech patterns (dont you dare mix up those Qs, NQs, AXJ, MACH, ect or youll be burned at the stake), the need to share every single title the dog has earned whenever they share the dogs name, the flashing of big name kennels, a catty but tight knit community, and a penchant for yoga pants and those creepy as fuck tennis shoes with individual toe spots. 

The Jocks Claim to Fame: Much like real life high school Jocks, dog sports are the Golden Era of the Jocks life.

The Mean Girls -

Summary: Log in to any forum or Facebook, and its easy to spot a Mean Girl. The Mean Girls are the first to jump in with a snarky, high horse comment, which is soon backed up by their hoards of loyal minions. Mean Girls rule the roost, luxuriating in their devout following and power online. Loud, obtuse and vicious online, Mean Girls wouldnt dare look at you cross-eyed in real life. 

Mean Girls are the best at everything, with the best possible dogs, and dont you dare forget it. Just like real life Mean Girls, these people are big on bragging about This Kennel and That Kennel, loving that what theyre wearing owning is the name on everyones lips.

Sports or Activities: Occasionally conformation or any of the Jocks activities, though Mean Girls tend to be "just" dog owners. Because lets be honest here: forget stalking those they feel threatened by (those damn outspoken people who dare not bow before them) and talking behind peoples backs takes a lot of time and effort.

Breeds Owned: Mostly high dollar purebreds, though its possible to get the occasional Mean Girls: Mutt Edition in the mix.

Telltale Signs Youve Found a Mean Girl: A plethora of Me & My Dog selfies, a condescending introduction, lax Facebook privacy settings, excluding conversations amongst other Mean Girls, and plenty of holier than thou attitude. Mean Girls are the quickest to cry fowl if you have a different opinion.

The Mean Girls Claim to Fame: Living the life they wish they had in high school.

The Nerds -

Summary: The Nerds are an interesting sort without too set a mold, though facets of the other groups may be present in certain individuals. The Nerds are a plethora of information, and usually focus on one subject to drown themselves in; food and training are the most common types of Nerds, though everything from breeding to bloodlines to structure to vet care can be a Nerds livelihood. 

The Nerds prides themselves on being up to date -or at least well versed - on their specific subject. Despite their eagerness to contribute, The Nerds often easily quelled into silence and submission by The Jocks and Mean Girls.
There is also the very rare but frightfully obnoxious Know It All Nerd. These are the people that will shove information so far down you throat itll make your eyes water, and refuse to quit.

Sports or Activities: The Nerd may compete in less popular dog sports such a Dock Diving and Nosework, but tend to focus more on trick training or fitness and conditioning.

Breeds Owned: The Nerd does not have a set breed, and mutts are very popular.

Telltale Signs Youve Found a Nerd: The Nerds are an elusive bunch, but are fairly easy to spot if you know what to look for. Tentative but eager to connect, gentle coaxing can get them blathering like a 12 year old girl jacked up on coffee.

The Nerds Claim to Fame: Thinking theyre smarter than most of the population, but are too afraid to show it.

The Goths -

Summary: The Goths are, unsurprisingly, incredibly dramatic and yet incredibly deadpan. They tend to be fanatical in their morbid views, and take great pleasure in informing you that feeding kibble will kill your dog. Or that feeding raw will kill your dog. Or that vaccines will kill your dog. Or no vaccines will kill your dog. Really, they just want you to know that your dog will die unless you follow their views. Theyre like those annoying chain emails or Facebook tags: forward this to or tag 10 others or youll die next Tuesday.

Sports or Activities: None usually, because thats another thing that will kill your dog.

Breeds Owned: Mutts and various bully breeds, primarily. Occasionally a smattering of toy breeds.

Telltale Signs Youve Found a Goth: Watch the posts about questions or experiences, and youre sure to find a Goth. Just watch, and youll see them latch onto any marginally happy topic like a starving baby onto a juicy tit, ready to share some horror story and offer their incredible wisdom on how to prevent such a tragedy.

The Goths Claim to Fame: Striking fear and annoyance into the hearts of dog lovers across the interwebs, depending on the person.

The Potheads -

Summary: The Potheads are a motley crew, and can be split into three main sub-genres. Their common denominator is their more relaxed attitude and less cutthroat nature.

The Hippie Potheads - 
Holistic, natural, organic, alternative. These words are always on the Hippie Potheads tongue, and boy, do they love them. Theyre quick to offer their remedies with a big smile and lots of "helpful" links. Youre dealing with a flea infestation, in the middle of summer, in Florida? Sprinkle some diatomaceous earth down! Struggling with your aging dogs arthritis? Try some coconut oil! Your dog has terminal cancer! Some turmeric will clear that right up!

The Artsy Pothead -
Creative grooming, anyone? These people may also teach completely useless but very flashy tricks, have brightly colored hair themselves, and have a love for dog photography.

The Pothead Pothead -
What happens when you need a blunt just to deal with all the other cliques.

Breeds Owned: Anything and everything! Hound breeds, mutts, and various large and giant breeds are most prevalent.

Telltale Signs Youve Found a Pothead: Theyre actually tolerable, for the most part.

The Potheads Claim to Fame: Making you realize that the only semi-sane person in this discussion - aside from yourself - is a pothead.

The Rebel -

Summary: Ah, the Rebels. Often the most amusing ones to watch, The Rebels tend to be instigators. There are two types of Rebels: the "I dont give a fuck what you think" Rebels, and the "I love drama" Rebels.
Whichever category they fit into, both parties have the same general though process. These are the people that support most types of breeders (show, sport, working, pet, cross), support and/or own outdoor dogs, support and/or own doodles, and have more "outside the box" views on dog ownership.

Sports or Activities: The Rebels dont have a set sport, but may participate in any and all forms.

Breeds Owned: Usually purebred or purposefully bred cross breeds, but again, theres no set type.

Telltale Signs Youve Found a Rebel: That Facebook or forum thread thats blowing up? Odds are, a Rebel is keeping it going. They relish in ruffling the feathers of all the other cliques.

The Rebels Claim to Fame: "I may not have started it, but Ill damn sure finish it!"

Will I have a bit of The Artsy Pothead and The Rebel in me, I am more of the loner type. I dont do cliques, because I have a 0 tolerance for catty bullshit. Raise your glass if youre on of the few sane people sitting back in astonishment that the above kinds of people actually exist.

So there you have it: Dachshund Nolas Guide to Navigating the Dog World! Youre welcome.

Share your favorite, any Ive missed, and your experiences below!

- Dachshund Mommy

P.S. Ive never stepped foot in a high school (homeschooling FTW - and I mean For The Win, not Fuck The World), and had to rely on my guilty pleasure of young adult books and plenty of googling. 

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What Does Your Dog Really Want for Valentines Day

If we had to guess, we would say he wants your love. There are lots of ways to show that you love your dog:

View these and share on Facebook

View and repin on Pinterest

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View and share this video: Teach My Person How to Love Me

Train your dog the force-free way using positive reinforcement. Heres how that should look:

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Dog Days of Fall Back to School Tips

Fall is a time of changing routines as family activities move into high gear. “I receive an increased number of dog bite calls every year during times of change such as vacation and school start up”, says animal behaviour specialist Teresa Lewin. Changes in routine are stressful for dogs. Anxious and upset dogs are more likely to bite and statistics show that most bites to children are caused by a family pet.

Here are some tips to keep the dog from becoming anxious and to keep kids safe: 

• Supervise dogs and children at all times!
• During times of transition while everyone is getting ready for school or coming home from school, secure your dog in a calmer setting (such as a crate or gated area) with a safe and engaging chew toy such as a Kong or stuffed bone. Noisy children can get dogs very wound up and excited. This can lead to unintended injury.
• Do some training or play with the dog for a few minutes after the kids have gone to school. The dog can get lonely when all of a sudden the family is gone and he is all alone for the day.
• If the entire family is out for the whole day, try to have a neighbor or dog walker come in at lunch time to play with the dog and take him for a walk.
• After school, bring the dog back into the general area with the kids once everyone is calm. Have each child take a turn take a turn asking the dog to do something (a trick or even just sit) for a treat so that a calm routine is established around coming home time.
• Learn to read dog body language and teach kids too. The Doggone Crazy! board game (see below) is a fun way to learn how dogs communicate their feelings.
• Watch for signs of anxiety such as yawning, lip licking and half moon shape in the white of the eye (pleading look). Intervene and redirect both kids and dog to another activity if you see any of these signs while the kids are interacting with the dog or are playing in the vicinity of the dog.
• Teach kids to respect the dog. If he turns his head away or moves away the kids should leave him alone. Ask the kids questions about the dogs feelings. For example, "What do you think Fido is trying to tell us when he walks away when we try to pet him?"

• Practice basic obedience with your dog for short periods several times a day to keep him out of trouble and to stimulate his mind.
• Take kids and dog for a hike in the woods. A tired dog is a good dog!

Dogs are important family members but it is critical to remember that they are animals and they still have natural dog behaviors and instincts. Dogs do best when they are shown what we want them to do and are rewarded for good behaviour. Dogs like routine and to know what is going to happen next. By planning ahead and providing the opportunity for the dog to be in a low stress situation around kids, everyone is poised for success and trouble free transition to fall routines.

About the Doggone Crazy! board game:

Save 20% until the end of September 2012. Use the discount code FALLGAME when purchasing the Doggone Crazy! board game at the Doggone Safe store (US and Canada only).

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Case File Help! Is My Dog a Threat to My Crawling Baby

We got an email from a parent, with concerns about her newly crawling baby and her two dogs.

Dear Doggone Safe: We have two dogs: one is a certified therapy dog and one is a rescue coon hound. We had a baby this summer and she is 8 months old now and starting to crawl. We have researched information before she was born about dogs and babies. And we have set up gated areas and dog safety protocols in our house. Always supervision etc.  But I have a question that I cant find an answer or help with..... My daughter likes to crawl now - everywhere- and even when the dogs are sleeping on their dog beds she tends to crawl right to them and wants to touch them -their tails, faces, ears etc. I am a first time mom - so I redirect her to something else... say no.... when we are holding her we allow her to pet our therapy dog on her side/ back etc., to try to show her the correct way... although she is very young still to understand. I am just not sure how to teach her at this age how to give the dogs space and respect. Is what I am doing correct? Should I be doing more?  Is it just a matter of constant redirection of her to something else when she crawls to the dogs? Even our therapy dog gets annoyed after awhile of course. I dont want to have to ban the dogs from the living room completely I just need some advice or reassurance of what we are doing so we establish good behaviors from both our daughter and our dogs. Thanks for any help you can give me!

We passed this question on to our dog and baby expert, dog behavior consultant Jennifer Shryock. Jen will of course offer one on one consulting to make sure and get all the details so that she can offer help, but there are probably many others who have the same issues.

If you have a newly crawling baby, you know that your life has become much more complicated! No longer does the baby stay where she is put, contentedly watching from the safety of a play pen or other piece of baby apparatus. Now the baby is mobile and she wants to explore and interact with everything, including the dogs. Now you find yourself following the baby around and finding out that even though you thought you had thoroughly baby-proofed, there are sill hazards that the baby will undoubtedly uncover.

There is no such thing as a 100% baby-proofed dog. No matter how sweet and gentle your dog is, there comes a point where he will not tolerate any more from the baby. Hopefully at this point he just relocates to a safe area that you have provided for him, but he may decide that he has no choice but to growl or bite if the baby persists.

Jennifer Shryock gives this advice to parents of crawling babies:

At this stage moving babies look quite different from other humans and most dogs are uncomfortable. This period is a time of intense management and setting up parent guided interactions.  I use the phrase "invites decrease frights and bites"  as crawling babies  approaching a dog makes dogs uncomfortable and is a leading cause for injury at this age. 

Here are two prerecorded webinars produced by Jen that will help answer many of the questions that parents of crawling babies often ask:

Webinar presented to the Association of Pet Dog Trainers

My Dog Growled at My Baby... Help!:

For more information or to arrange a consultation please visit Family Paws Parent Education

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Carl Spitz and the Hollywood Dog Training School

By Langley Cornwell

The Hollywood Dog Training School, currently owned and operated by Richard Karl, was once a hotel and training ground for the Hollywood elite. The fancy four pawed “actors and actresses” were brought in to learn to hit their acting cues. The Hollywood superstars also brought their canines to set up house in their own little personal hotel of sorts. The rich and famous regularly lavished their canines with a visit to the hottest spot in the doggie world at that time. Carl Spitz, the owner and trainer at this Hollywood hotspot, knew how to make dogs feel like a million dollars.

Carl Spitz, Sr. was the original owner and brains behind the initial Hollywood Dog Training School. Originally from Germany, Spitz got his start working with dogs for movie roles. He learned about dog training from the man that many consider the greatest dog trainer of all time...Colonel Konrad Most. Clearly he learned his lessons well, because he went on to be among the greatest in his own right.

Most everyone knows the dog Toto from the movie The Wizard of Oz. Toto was actually Carl’s family dog and was trained under his watchful eye. Toto’s real name was Terry, and the dog became one of Spitz’s most famous clients. Starring alongside Judy Garland, that cute little canine actor was so much fun to watch. Although he was one of Spitz’s most popular clients, he was far from the only one.

Back when Spitz first started the school in 1927, the Hollywood elite would bring him their dogs to be pampered and trained. The accommodations were right out of a Hollywood fantasy, with extravagant playgrounds and beautiful views. The dogs would also have private baths and dryers, and custom menu items made by special cooks. How many dogs do you know that are bathed in porcelain bathtubs? Spitz made sure they had the best of everything for his visitors.

During World War II there was an initiative for a canine corps to help fight the war. Spitz was one of many trainers that helped prepare the dogs for their roles in the initiative. His training skills were highly valued and almost certainly helped keep soldiers safer through that program.

The original Hollywood Dog Training School was located near Laurel Canyon but was later moved when the Ventura Freeway was cut through. They ended up in North Hollywood on Vanowen Street. Lassie was trained at this kennel location. In fact, the place was owned by Rudd Weatherwax, the original trainer for Lassie.  The school is still located there to this day.

Carl Spitz, for his part, became one of the most influential dog trainers in history. His book, Training Your Dog, is one of the first manuals on dog training to be created. That book is now a rare find and would be considered a top addition to any book collection on the subject. Spitz trained dogs throughout his entire life and is considered one of the innovators of some of the dog training skills and tricks that are still being used today.

Richard Karl bought the place in 1978 and has since turned it into a training ground for dogs and cats of all economic backgrounds. Although many of the famous Hollywood stars still bring their dogs and cats to the school, the primary function of the place now is to train family pets. Although the school was originally only for dogs, Karl has added a cat building to the premises so that felines would not be left out. The cat building offers kitties their own areas for sleeping and eating, as well as ample room to play and socialize.

Although the Hollywood Dog Training School started as a place to nurture the Hollywood Elite and train the next canine actors and actresses, the school has now become a place where your dog or cat can go and be the star.

Read more articles by Langley Cornwell

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